Categorised | Dating

Internet Dating 101 – insert danger tape here…

One of the unpleasant side effects of internet dating is attracting losers. Sorry but this is the truth. Over the years I started to catagorise some of these people – the stalker, the talker, the time waster and what I affectionately call the moron.

Let’s start with the stalker. This is the person that cannot let it go. There are a couple of different types of stalkers – the one that wants desperately for you to talk to them; the one that you DO talk to then decide that was a bad idea try and break it off but they just won’t get the message; and the one whom you actually meet, decide they’re not for you but again just won’t leave you alone.

Stalker 1 – Listen… I didn’t smile, kiss, etc back at you because I’m simply not interested. I read your bio and I’m sure you mother loves you, but you’re just not my type. Just let it go. Stop smiling, kissing, etc at me and move on to the next person. Also… don’t ask me why I didn’t reply, just move on…

The second type of stalker are those that follow you around electronically. You chatted to them online… once. All I can say is “thank god for blocking mechanisms”. But they hunt you down. Wherever you go – Facebook, MSN, Twitter, they’re there! Lying in wait to pounce on your unsuspecting keyboard. “Why are you ignoring me, what have I done to deserve this?” Ooookaayy, creepy. I’ve never met you, I don’t even know you and now we have some fantasy relationship where I’m your best friend who isn’t speaking to you after knowing you for 100 years (10 mins on the internet). There’s only one thing to do with this person – block, block, and keep blocking. Whatever you do, don’t ever give them your private email address, you’ll never hear the end of it. I love hotmail. I can be whoever I want to be at the drop of a keystroke – hotlips2000; shedevil500; and tomorrow I can simply shut it down and be someone else.

And then there’s the ones you meet. This could be a whole article in itself. How do you stop them from calling. There’s only one thing for it – be honest. Simply say “Thanks, but I’m not feeling it. Have a nice life”. Whatever you do don’t say the magic words “I had a great time”. If you do you have opened the door to a whole set of questions – “Then why don’t you want to see me again”; “You said you had a good time so what’s the problem”. Just turn and walk away. If you meet them online say “Hi” but don’t overly encourage them, otherwise they think you are now soul mates, destined to be together forever. Whatever…

I once chatted to this guy online for roughly 5 minutes, he said some stuff that really made me uneasy. How he meets women in public places for a little bit of gratification, or a lot of gratification in his case, I’m not so sure about hers…. At first I was fascinated, you really do this? Do people really do this? I thought that only happened in porn movies. I soon found out I was wrong. He was an interesting character to say the least. Would I meet up with him? Ahhhh no thanks, not my style. Boy did he go nuts. How dare I lead him on, why wouldn’t I meet him, and on it went. But it didn’t stop there. Everytime I was online he was there. Stalking me. Creep. So when in doubt – block. And if this doesn’t work… I contacted one of the websites and asked them to make sure he couldn’t access me anymore. It must have worked because I never heard from him again. It was a toss up between stalker and moron, but I have to put him into the first category because I didn’t actually meet him.

More next week…

Guest contribution by Julie Allen @ www.thefullpretzel.com.au

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