Categorised | Dating

Internet Dating 101 – Rules and Tribulations

Following on from my last posting, I thought I would share some of the crazy, wonderful and bad experiences of my online dating. One of the first things I learned and have never forgotten is Rule Number 1 – don’t lie…

If you lie, you will get caught. Now I’m not saying that I lied on my profile but I did opt to leave out some things, for the sake of my privacy of course. I wasn’t lying… I just wasn’t telling. But it seems that some others have taken this to the extreme.

I often went on dates with guys who, after a couple of glasses of wine and some talking, we both realised that there was no chemistry but it was fun chatting. As soon as the pressure was off the whole “this is a date so we have to make it work” scenario the talk often turned to our experiences.

I had dinner with this really nice guy who was telling me about one of his most memorable experiences. He met this lady online, she was absolutely gorgeous, great personality, everything seemed to click. They met and had a lovely dinner where they were definitely getting along. After dinner they decided to move to a lounge and have coffee, while there this guy started to get a sense that something wasn’t quite right.

He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but something about her started to make him uncomfortable. At one point during coffee she got up to go to the bathroom and he watched the way she walked, it was slightly exaggerated and not quite right. Suddenly it clicked, but he was unsure about what to say or if to say anything at all. Finally when she came back he had to ask…

“I don’t mean to be rude but I have to ask you a question…”. “Sure” she said. “Are you a guy?”. At this point I dropped my knife and fork and nearly spat food all over the table. “Are you serious?” I asked and sure enough she had said yes.

I was amazed, there is a difference between leaving something out and pretending to be something you’re not. Well this definitely fits into the second category as far as I was concerned. I was curious, does this sort of thing happen a lot? No, not the guy/girl thing, but the lying thing.

So when I went on a date I started asking about guy’s experiences. I was stunned, it happens a lot! At least once to all guys I spoke with.

The most common lies/omissions:
– Old photo: yes we all looked good in our early 20’s. Let’s face it, gravity hadn’t taken over and plastic surgery was something we pointed at other people and said they needed to have. But really… did you think that photo would get you through the first meeting? Really? This from my small research base seemed to be the most common lie/omission, and all guys said that after meeting them in person they simply turned around and walked away…

– Someone else’s photo: I know it’s hard to believe that people would do this but they do. Sisters… supermodels… whatever… did you think they wouldn’t notice that your hair was black instead of blonde, that you are 5’6” instead of 6’ as per the photo? Once again all guys wouldn’t spend any time on this person and simply walk away.

– Kids: very contentious issue and one I personally found quite interesting. While surfing quite a few guys said in their profile – no kids as we will make our own. Oh come on, are you serious? How many people in their 30’s don’t have kids… Unless you’re planning on dating someone ethereal I don’t think your chances are great.

That’s enough for this week, more adventures to follow….

Guest contribution by Julie Allen @

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